9.24.2008

Notes from the Couch

Remember my horrible Monday? It was a terrible no good very bad day on one hand, but it was pretty profitable day on the other. Since things were already a miserable mess by the time I kissed Alex and Olivia goodbye, I figured I'd take out all my frustration on all the things that needed doing around the house (instead of the cute little fuzzy headed paci-loving spaghetti boy that was attached to my leg). So I went full gusto and did a complete house-cleaning top to bottom until it was d.o.n.e DONE. . . so today I'm sitting on the couch on a heating pad with a pulled something in my lower back munching on the crumbs at the bottom of the Doritos bag and sipping a Pepsi. . . and suddenly I remember THIS is why I don't clean the house top to bottom in one day.
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Yesterday I went to the library and reluctantly turned in my overdue copy of The Strong Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson (along with a can of sauerkraut I fished out of my pantry.... LOVE food for fines month!!). That was a really good book. If you have a strong-willed child, you can understand how relieved I was to finally hear a voice out there who simply acknowledges that these children exist! Ahhh! You always feel like some snarky eyeball is shooting beams of judgment on you for being a slacker mom who never disciplines her kiddos when the truth of the matter is that you plop in bed at night utterly exhausted because you ARE. I was so happy to have read that book.
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I did pick up Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. Maybe I should read the whole thing before offering a review, but I did want to share this little snippet that nicely sums up some recent personal thoughts.


  • "Regretfully, many parents today are victims of information overload. When they're expecting, they read magazines and books, do research, scour the Internet, listen to friends and family and specialists of all sorts. These are all valuable resources, but by the time the baby comes along, new parents are often more confused than when they started. Worse still, their own common sense has been drowned our by other people's ideas. Granted, information is empowering. . . every baby is an individual, and so is every mum and dad. Hence every family's needs are different. What good would it do for me to tell you what I did with my own daughters?"
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I thought to myself YESSS!! You know the picture of the little devil on one shoulder vs. the little angel on the shoulder? Sometimes I picture a little laid back attachment parent mommy on one shoulder and a strict card-carrying Ezzo mommy on the other. "Let him graze" says one "If you want to raise a cow, let him graze; if you want to raise a disciplined and productive MAN you better make him sit and eat a square meal" says the other. Aggghhh says me.
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Information overload is right. Don't get me wrong, I love gleaning insight from other moms whom I respect, and I think that we should definately learn from one another. I just think that my children might benefit more from a mommy who takes to time to know them and understand them rather than looking for the next great trick of the trade.
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With the third baby on the way, I'm still trying to figure it all out. This time around, though, I want to have a quieter heart in the process. Less fear about not doing it right, and more rest in God's grace and help. At the end of the day the issue isn't so much about whether little buddy ate all his carrots. Deep down in her heart, mom just needs to know God still loves her and delights in her no matter how Battle Carrots went down.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

As a battle hardened ( and scarred ) veteran of those wars I must tell you that you are on the right track!
What brilliance and insight for one so young!!! Other young mothers who read this take note, she is right! Enjoy life with your little darlings, they are only young once! And so are you, so enjoy the journey to the fullest!!! From a great-grandma