I would like to share something with my little blogging neighborhood. This is something that I would probably bring to the discussion table if all of you were to come over to my house and sit on my porch to share stories of mammahood over a cup of coffee and a hot slice of banana bread. Have you ever had a traumatic eating-out experience with your almost 2 year old? Our sweet little family was invited to another family's house to eat dinner a few nights ago. I will admit that we were out a little later than usual, but the hour was not unreasonable. I knew we were in for it when Olivia disobeyed daddy and stood up on her chair anyways, only to slip and knock her head on the table. This was followed by the scream of great suffering and death. The whole evening went downhill from there. I was mortified. On the way home, I tried to lighten the mood by suggesting that at least our friends know how to pray for us now, but nothing I said could manage to lift the thick cloud of despair I felt in my heart. I felt like a failure as a mom. I was bothered by the fact that the ordeal was so embarrassing and that revealed fear of man issues in my heart. In fact, I was so upset by the whole ordeal I couldn't sleep that night and woke up the next morning with a parenting hangover. Tears came to my eyes everytime I thought about it. My spirit was so restless, and I couldn't seem to snap out of it. Finally, the Word ministered to my heart. "Be not weary in well doing, for in DUE SEASON ye shall reap if ye faint not." I will get weary. I will stumble. I will be overwhelmed. I will be stumped. I will be embarrassed. I will be pressured. My greatest concern should not be FAILURE, my concern should be FAINTING. So I go forth with my little one. Amy Carmichael says it best in her poem The Last Defile
Make us Thy mountaineers---
We would not linger on the lower slope.
Fill us afresh with hope, O God of Hope,
That undefeated we may climb the hill
As seeing Him who is invisible.
Let us die climbing. When this little while
Lies far behind us, and the last defile
Is all alight, and in that light we see
Our Leader and our Lord, what will it be?
1.30.2007
Sound Familiar?
Posted by Leah (Parrish) Millan at 6:24 PM
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6 comments:
Leah, I'll be praying! I know we Muths have great fun ahead of us in the disobedient child department...considering little Aaron has sinners for parents. I must say you gave me quite a laugh with the "parenting hangover" description. I wondering if anyone's ever gotten a ticket for "DWP" (driving while parenting)
Leah - Ours is only 13 months, but has already showed us and several others (unfortunately) her VERY strong will. I had the same kind of day on Sunday. Thanks for being real, transparent, and encouraging at the same time. Don't be discouraged my friend, keep sowing!
Boy does it ever sound familiar. I also had quite the day on Sunday with Kayla (18 months) and have been meaning to post about it because it showed me things about myself that were caused by what's in my heart not by Kayla's actions and attitudes. I knew parenting would be a challenge from the training Kayla perspective, but I never realized that it would be a time of training for me too.
Keep on! And thanks for sharing.
Karis
look on the bright side: It could have been Alex standing on the chair refusing to obey! Now that would have been worse I imagine!
Sorry my friend, I will be praying.
Jenny- If tickets for DWP were handed out this mamma would definately see her day in traffic court. It's amazing how much you can fish out of a back seat while driving :)
Shannon- Sundays are tough on little ones. Yes, many many traumatic Sunday stories here :)
Karis- Amen!
Erin- Oh boy! That would have definately been the end of all going-out for me :)
Thank you Leah for sharing your story. I often feel like the only mamma whose children act up at the worst possible moments. I will admit that some of those moments ruffle my pride and a good humbling is necessary for me. In other times I cry and pray over my parenting mistakes and plead with the Lord that they will develop into children that please Him despite my failing efforts. If you haven't already, read Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas. What an encouraging book about how God brings about growth and change in our lives as a result of our children. My own mom also reminds me often that the young years of training are the hardest. Hang on for those years, it will make later years easier and will make the work and tears well worth it!
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